anonymityblaize: (Default)
Me, At Some Nebulous Time In The Past: I become aware of an actor called Channing Tatum. He was quite good in Stop Loss, but he was awful in GI Joe. Admittedly, everyone and everything was awful in GI Joe.* But the salient fact is that I form an opinion on Channing Tatum, and that opinion is that he has a stupid face.


Me, A Few Months Ago: I go see Haywire and enjoy it tremendously. I have lots to say on the subject of how much I like Gina Carano, and it turns out I really enjoyed watching Channing Tatum's stupid face get punched by a hot girl. Later when reading more about Haywire, I find out that Channing Tatum and his stupid face are making another film with Soderberg about his actual facts past as a stripper, featuring a whole bunch of hot actors. I am both confused and intrigued. I put the matter from my mind.


Me, Three Weeks Ago: Channing Tatum still has a stupid face. I am looking for something to watch and the Eagle is available on the anytime+ and lots of people on my flist wrote fic about that movie, so I'm sure I can put up with Channing Tatum's stupid face for the length of the movie.


Me, Three Weeks Minus the Length of the Movie Ago: Channing Tatum's face remains stupid and it's a bit weird being a Scottish person watching a movie about the Romans being generally terrified of my ancestors, but I really liked that. Maybe I should hunt down some of that fic, and be less judgemental of Channing Tatum and his stupid face in the future...


Me, Two Weeks Ago: “Channing Tatum and his stupid face were in a stupid dance movie? I love stupid dance movies! Maybe I should check that out...”


Me, One Week and Three Days Ago: My friend lends me Step Up.** I watch Step Up. It was a stupid dance movie in all the best ways. And it would appear that while his face is quite stupid, the rest of Channing Tatum moves in ways very pleasing to the eye. Suddenly the whole stripper thing makes a great deal of sense.


Me, Less Than A Week Ago: I go see 21 Jump Street. I laugh considerably more than I expected. And I find, that somehow, inexplicably, I have totally become a Channing Tatum fangirl despite his stupid face.


Me, Last Night: *Find all the Channing Tatum tumblrs!* I <3 his stupid faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!


It is a very odd life, this fangirl thing.


*I'm still going to see the GI Joe sequel though. Because I am a glutton for punishment, and they’ve added the Rock and Adrienne Palicki to the cast. I am easily swayed by the most random of things.

**By my friend I mean the internet.

anonymityblaize: (disappointed coach)
Reposting this pic as the Twitter joke trial reached the High Court appeal today. It's utterly baffling to me that this nonsense has got this far without someone doing anything remotely sensible. If you have no idea why I made a cross stitch of a criminal and "clearly menacing" tweet, you can read more about this Orwellian nightmare  here and here.


And on a lighter note, here, have a stitched Star Trek coaster.
anonymityblaize: (smarties)
The lovely Jane Espenson linked to this predictive tweet generator last night and it is bloody hilarious. I spent about half an hour just hitting 'get your next tweet' over and over. Here are some of my favourite pieces of nonsense it came up with:

"I am a drunken shambles. But I can survive winter. We call it is far too early on, leaving the Hobbit!"

"Posted some films when special effects mostly meant crashing actual cars into Pepe Le Pew?"

"I am contemplating the most massive hug. Huzzah! I did I have fallen over myself there. Shame."

"I am walking away from me. Attempting to have got a sound? If a fabulous night and emotional."

"Things I feel like derring-do. That 'do is awesome. More cross stitch this oughta be simple."

"Poppleton is very nearly 3am here. I have the side old craft project: a massively massive military."

"Police manhunt currently stomping through the police are shivering. Hot ginger beer with bonus enthusiasm!"
This one is clearly predicting a future episode of Hawaii Five-0:

"I am going to get so many 'splosions! BTW this show. It's cuckoo-bananas-amazeballs."
This one is just the most brilliant thing ever:
"Just watched the internet. Don't want to be nice. Just no. You are fashion choices other than I may have."
I think "You are fashion choices other than I may have" should be my new catchphrase. And then there's this:
"Got featured in real life. This show is kinda weird. I'm utterly bemused now."
Yup. Utterly bemused just about covers it.
anonymityblaize: (mark owen)

So, Take That tickets go on sale on Friday. Expect me to be dead from stress at about 9.15am when all the ticket websites are broken and I don't even know if I successfully purchased anything. That's the usual pattern. Apparently they'll run from £55 - £85 (85 quid is 135 US dollars). I love me my Take That but it would seem that I don't love them enough to spend £85 on a few hours' entertainment. Which made me wonder for whom I would be willing to pay that much for one ticket.

The only answer I have is a supergroup consisting of David Bowie, Tori Amos, Johnny Marr, Jonny Greenwood, Kim Deal and some sort of zombie John Bonham.

Does that make me really stingy?

anonymityblaize: (ryan finger)
I want to fire this week. I want to disown this week. I want to dump this week in a tank of evil mutated sea bass. I want to remove this week's heart with a rusty spoon. I want to build a time machine, go back in time, and kill this week's grandfather. I want to fight this week to the pain. (Its ears it'll keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing this week's hideousness will be its to cherish. Every babe that weeps at its approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in this week's perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave this week in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.)

Does this perhaps begin to hint at the fact that this week has not been a fun week?

The world at large is being very depressing right now, and my own life is just full of little annoyances adding up to major headaches. I cannot escape building work. There are builders outside. There are builders inside. The dirt is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE, people. No kitchen for four days makes Ms Blaize go something, something. (And it'll be five days before they're actually done.) And mopping the hall every night for four days is also with the crazy-making (although we have concluded that it's way less hassle than giving a cat a bath). I will be spending most of Friday, Saturday and Sunday actually, literally cleaning ALL THE THINGS, but right now that is an exciting, happy weekend to look forward to. I may well be losing my marbles here. I am so behind on every single thing I was meant to get done this week. Grr argh.

Also, some bastards have stolen [ profile] rooferrocks's magnificent Wireopoly idea. I like hers better.

On the brighter side of life, James Franco continues to be fascinating to me:

And Tom Hardy now has his own tag at ONTD. I may never need to visit the mainpage ever again.

(Side note: James Franco and Tom Hardy NEED to make a movie together, yes/yes? The promotional interviews alone would be the most randomly hilarious things ever.)

Right, the last time I was grumpy and in charge of a keyboard and a photobucket account I made a Tom Hardy picspam post and it made me happier, so I'm gonna try that again. (See, any old excuse...) Please picspam me mucho in the comments - it will make me less likely to post more emo nonsense "woe-is-me" pity party type stuff!
anonymityblaize: (dance)
The rage of Friday has subsided and instead I will choose to focus on how much love I have in my heart for Charlie Brooker, Derren Brown and, of course, Mr Stephen Fry. And bizarrely, Janet Street Porter. That is all.

ETA: And Dave Gorman too.

anonymityblaize: (emo)
I think this may be breaking my brain. Apologies if nothing I say makes any sense. (Or hasn't for some time)

Pale grey and I hit rocky ground fairly quickly. So I've reached something of a detente with the coalition of pinks - I agree not to attack them for their lack of diversity in shading, and they agree to be available on the pattern in nice big chunks as opposed to one stitch here and one stitch there, here a stitch, there a stitch, everywhere a stitch, stitch....

Ahem. There's also a lot of thread abandoning going on. Every time a section begins to make me want to stab myself in the eye with my needle I've taken to just leaving it hanging and moving on to a happier place. Not entirely sure what will happen when all that is left is annoying bits, but as a plan it's working for me right now.

Since the weekend I've found myself worrying slightly about the colours that my cross stitch program chose. Particularly after putting two different blues on his face. But here's a comparison of the original image and the pattern representation of what it should look like. And that calms me down somewhat. For now.


anonymityblaize: (Default)

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